How To Deal With People Making You Feel Guilty With Your Finances
Have you ever felt guilty for not helping out financially with an old acquaintance or family member? There have been many cases where athletes feel pressured to over extend themselves to people because they feel guilty they were able to make it professionally. In the end, they stretch themselves so much, they put a strain on their relationships, themselves, and worst of all, financial stability.
" Oh so you hollywood now?"
"So, You just forgot about your home huh?"
"Now that you in the league, you better than me?"
"Who had your back when you weren't rich?"
.....I'm sure you've come across something along those lines before. If you haven't prepare yourself. It may come in a joking matter but like they say every joke comes with a little truth to it.
Emotional Blackmail is using a person's feelings, kindness, sympathy, or duty in order to persuade them to do something or feel something.
It's tough when people put your character on the spot and make you feel guilty, but it's important to not fall into that trap because you will be the one that ends up suffering in the long run.
Here are some ways to not fall into the trap of emotional blackmail:
Before you go into a situation where you know you might succumb to emotional blackmail make sure you analyze possible outcomes of what that person may want. If you have an idea of what that person may be asking for or what they will talk about you will be better prepared to navigate the situation. If you end up giving someone money because of that emotional drain they inflicted make sure you already know the amount you have warranted.
Have A Fall Guy
Having a fall guy is great because you can say no without being the bad guy. Say someone ask how come you haven't come back and paid for such and such, you can simply say I wanted to but my manager or financial advisor won't let me. Being able to put the blame on someone else will help alleviate any tension when you say no
Sometimes just being upfront and transparent can stop any sense of emotional blackmail before it digs in. If you are honest and simply say something like, "Look, I appreciate everything you've done for me and will always be grateful but I don't like when you make me feel guilty for this and that.." or "I'm not financially capable of helping out right now..I know you think I changed up but I'm sorry."
If they can't respect the fact that you were upfront than they shouldn't be someone for you to worry about anyways.